Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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