Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
