I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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