Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
