I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
