Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize