i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize