Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
