at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
