3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
