I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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