I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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