you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize