Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
