i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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