ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
