I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
