I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The power of my boobs compel you
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize