where am i from again
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
