I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
