Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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