i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
