dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
