im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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