MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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