Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Farmville is her only friend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
