When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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