$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
