He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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