girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
