please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize