so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
