i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
