dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
