if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
