he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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