I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
