just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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