apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
