I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
