At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I am one with the molecules
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
