Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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