What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize