if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
