If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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