mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
