Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
