I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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