what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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