We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
