I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
