i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My feet surprised me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
