please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
