Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
