I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
