I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
