oh god the rape fog is back!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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