can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
