He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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