I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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