yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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