I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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