Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize