all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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