I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize